Marcidum
by Evilkitten3
Summary: Bakugou is back, All For One is in prison, and, for a moment, it seems like everything will be okay. (Sequel to Desiderium)
1. Kishi Kaisei

**AN: And the sequel to Desiderium arrives! I asked people on Tumblr for advice on how to continue the story, but no one said anything, so… right now, this is what you're getting. (Also, side note – THIS IS WHY FEEDBACK MATTERS.) Ah, little update – one person said something, and it was greatly appreciated.**

 **Title** : Marcidum

 **Summary** : Bakugou is back, All For One is in prison, and, for a moment, it seems like everything will be okay. (Sequel to Desiderium)

 **Characters** : Bakugou Katsuki, Kirishima Eijirou, mentions of others (more to come later)

 **Warnings** : Implications of really nasty stuff happening to a minor, everybody being horribly traumatized, intentionally creepy writing, etc.

 **Extra Note** : This one will have multiple chapters, and it will look at different characters' thoughts on the situation. That said, there will also be a fair amount of story, so it won't just be a bunch of semi-connected oneshots. Also? When I write creepy, I write _really fucking creepy_. I also tend to keep the creep (hey, that rhymes!) in italics. If it makes you uncomfortable (or, well, more uncomfortable than it's meant to make you), please feel free to just skip it. I'm traumatizing Bakugou, not you guys.

Chapter One: Kishi Kaisei

The world fades in and out of focus as Bakugou tries to pay attention to what the doctors outside his room are saying. He's gotten so used to not thinking about anything that trying to focus is close to painful. He doesn't want to talk to them, anyway. Talking still hurts, although he isn't sure why–

 _"Shut the fuck up, you piece of shit!" Fire, burning, pain, screams– knives and "You look so cute today, Katsuki-chan! Toga wants to play a game~" "Watch it, Toga. If you cut another tendon, Golem might actually strangle you" fire sharp stop hurts stop stop stop it_ _ **please**_

"–nly spoke to one of his classmates so far," one of the doctors is saying to Bakugou's parents. "He seems aware when people are speaking to him, and he's not incapable of communicating; seems to prefer nodding or shaking his head, so we're limited to yes or no questions."

"Which one?" he hears his father say. "I assume it's not Izuku-kun. They haven't had a great relationship in a while."

"Kirishima Eijirou-kun," another doctor – Recovery Girl, Bakugou thinks, although he isn't sure – tells them. "Those two are pretty good friends, it seems."

"I thought only family was allowed in," Bakugou's mother says. She's quieter than usual, not yelling at all, no swearing, and she sounds more surprised than annoyed.

"He let himself in," the first doctor says, sounding a little embarrassed. "Recovery Girl thought it would be fine, and All Might agreed, so–"

 _All Might, fighting, punching, training, class failure losing to_ _ **Deku**_ _USJ attacked villains–_ _ **villains**_ _villains villainsvillainsvillainsvillainsvillains "Join the League" "Take the piece" "COME!" Reaching reaching reaching a tug falling falling_ _ **falling**_ _blackness tugging screams "We have to go!" run run run away before they get you they'll kill you don't die please don't die just run leave leave now just go go go please go_ _ **please**_ _–_

 _((please don't leave me here))_

He blinks, and the hour hand on the clock has moved over several spaces. The sounds outside of his door have stopped, but Bakugou thinks he can hear footsteps. A knock sounds at the door.

"Blasty?" a voice – no, no, no; it's _Kirishima_ , that's _important_ – calls. "Can I come in?" Bakugou tries to say something, but his throat is dry (he's been staring at a blank wall for… a while, apparently, and he's only know realizing how thirsty he is), so all that comes out is a weird mix between a sigh and a squeak. "Okay, I'm coming in!" Kirishima says, and the door swings open. Bakugou's throat is still dry, so he just waves. Kirishima grins at him. "I brought you some water," he says, and it's really amazing how _good_ he is at this, whatever this is. Bakugou nods, accepts the cup, and drinks it.

"Hi," he says, hoarsely. Kirishima beams at him. "You, uh–" he forgets what he wants to say, and bites his lip. "Um."

"So the doctors say you aren't talking to anyone but me," Kirishima notes, throwing the empty cup away. "What's that about?" Bakugou shrugs.

"Too hard to focus," he replies. Kirishima laughs.

"But not with me?" He asks.

"Not with you," Bakugou agrees (and it's true – there's no distractions when Kirishima is there, and talking doesn't hurt as much as usual). Kirishima blinks, taken aback by the honesty. The surprise is quickly replaced by cheeks tinted slightly pink and a happy grin.

"Anyway," Kirishima quickly changes the subject, because it feels like the right thing to do, "I'm the only one the hospital is letting in, but the others wanted me to say hi for them."

"The others?" Bakugou repeats, and Kirishima nods.

"Yeah, everyone, basically," he says. "In Class 1-A, I mean. Class 1-B says hi too, but I only have Kendou's word for it. Uraraka said to tell you that she hopes you'll get better soon – even said she'd kick my butt if I forgot to bring it up." It takes Bakugou a minute to remember who Uraraka is (round face, determined eyes, floating), but Kendou escapes him entirely. "Midoriya's mom dropped by as well, I heard, but you were sleeping. Midoriya said to tell you that his mom's gonna make the best mapo tofu you've ever had in your life once you're outta here, so–"

"Out?" Bakugou interrupts, frowning. Something about that isn't _right_ , but he's not sure what.

"Well, yeah, duh," Kirishima says. "They're not keeping you here _forever_ , Blasty, that's not actually legal." Whatever was concerning about Kirishima's previous statement vanishes, and Bakugou's frown becomes a scowl.

"Of course it's legal, Hair-For-Brains," he grumbles. "Do you even know how hospitals work?"

"Not really," Kirishima admits. "There's probably still a limit to how long they can keep you once you've healed up, though." The unease returns, full-force. ' _Healed up_ ', he says. No, that's not right. That's not right at all, but Bakugou can't for the life of him figure out why–

 _"You heal quickly, although that's probably not a good thing in this place." "Go to hell." "I'm the closest thing you've got to a friend here, kid. Don't forget that." Scarred arms, gentle, gentle, gentle, stitches and calm, soothing words, warmth, and "He's just a kid, you know." "So what?" "…No, never mind." Calloused but soft fingers, holding him steady while he throws up "take it easy, kid; it's vomit, not war" slightly sad eyes watching him go, help please help please don't let them take me_ _ **please help me**_ _–_

"Bakugou!" Bakugou blinks, and he's back in the hospital. Kirishima's eyes are wide, and his arms fervently grip Bakugou's shoulders. "What was that?"

"I… what?" Bakugou manages eloquently. Kirishima frowns.

"You zoned out for a moment," he says softly. "You kinda freaked a little, too."

"Oh," it takes a moment for that to register. "Uh, sorry." Kirishima flinches slightly at the apology (because it's _Bakugou_ and _apologizing_ and other words that aren't supposed to end up in the same sentence).

"Don't worry about it," Kirishima says, and then immediately realizes what he's said. "I mean, y'know, _do_ worry about it, because it's a problem, but don't apologize or anything. It's not your fault. _None_ of this is your fault." Bakugou doesn't say anything for a moment, just looks down at his (ugly, scarred, broken, _disgusting_ ) hands.

"Mm." He says eventually. There's no conviction behind it, and Kirishima frowns.

"Dude," he begins. "You know it's not your fault, right?" Bakugou still can't bring himself to meet Kirishima's eyes, can't even manage to look up a little. " _Bakugou_. Listen to me, _please_. This isn't your fault. I mean it."

"Yeah," Bakugou says. "Okay." Kirishima opens his mouth to say something, but thinks better of it. Instead, he pulls back from Bakugou's shoulders and holds his hands instead. He doesn't harden the skin, and Bakugou can't tell if it's out of trust or something else entirely.

"I'm glad you're here," Kirishima tells him softly. "We all are, you know. I thought– we were – I was – so _close_ , and then–" He squeezes his eyes shut, gritting his teeth together. "I almost had you," he whispers. "If I'd been just a little faster, then–"

"You came," Bakugou remembers. "You reached for me." But Shigaraki had reached for him too, and his arms were longer than Kirishima's, and–

 _Burning pain in his leg, cracked skin and agony, Kirishima's horrified face, Deku wailing in- in- in_ _ **something**_ _, maybe fear or anger or both, swirling purple-black mist his Quirk is gone no it's not it's back no it's gone again what the fuck explosions sparks nothing explosions laughter what the_ _ **fuck**_

"But I _didn't_ ," Kirishima interrupts the memory (memor _ies_ ; plural, maybe). The grip on Bakugou's hands tightens slightly. "I didn't make it. I failed. _Again_." Bakugou wants to say something, to make it – whatever 'it' is – better somehow, but he can't.

"It's not your fault," he says, feeling a bit like a parrot. Kirishima laughs wetly.

"That's my line," he mumbles. He takes a deep breath, and grins sheepishly. "I'm being such a baby right now. I mean, you were– this is– I just–" he stops, takes another breath, and continues. "This isn't about me," he says. Bakugou looks down at their hands, fingers still intertwined ( _I'm still here he's still here_ _ **we're**_ _still here this is real I'm back I'm home I'm_ _ **safe**_ ).

"It kinda is," he tells him. Kirishima looks up. "About you, I mean."

"Never thought I'd hear that from you," Kirishima jokes. Bakugou feels something bubbling in his chest (laughter?), but it doesn't come out. He doesn't reply, though, a wave of exhaustion washing over him. "Tired?" Kirishima asks. He doesn't need a response; it's pretty obvious. "I'll go, then." He squeezes Bakugou's hands once more, and steps back. "I'll visit tomorrow, too." Bakugou nods, and Kirishima leaves, sending him one last smile before he goes.

When Bakugou falls asleep, he doesn't dream.

 **AN: And that's chapter one! The chapter title is "Kishi Kaisei", as you can see, which literally means "Wake from death and return to life". There's more to it than that, but… I'm not telling~ If you really want to know, you can look it up, or you can just have faith that everything will make sense eventually. Maybe. Well, it's me, after all, so I guess I can't blame you either way… Anyhow, thanks for reading, lemme know what you thought, and I'll see you next time. Kitty out.**


	2. Kaeru no Ko wa Kaeru

**AN: Holy crap, this story got popular fast! I wasn't expecting that, but I'm really happy you guys are enjoying this so much (you twisted monsters)! Anyway, so far, only one person has noticed the "plot hole". I feel like I should say something about that, in case anyone else has seen it too. When I first wrote Desiderium, I wasn't sure whether or not there would be enough people for me to bother writing a sequel, so I had leave it a bit open-ended, just in case. That said, when I'm writing, I often do things subconsciously. I have a habit of not noticing the plot points that I've already decided are going to happen. I like to think that it's because the author of the story is my "hands" and not I. So when someone points something like that out, I get to see a quick glimpse of what might come, which is very helpful. It's strange, though, not knowing what your hands are up to when you're writing… ah, well, such is life. One more thing before we get this show on the road: a lot of people are on Tumblr are tagging this as Bakushima or KiriBaku, which is fine, but I need to clarify that this is not a romantic story. I don't usually write romance; it's not where my strengths lie and honestly there's so much romance out there already. I prefer to focus on the plot, to be honest. So… yes, there are definitely some shippy moments in this story, but right now all relationships are platonic unless I say otherwise. That said, please don't ask about what ships I'm going to put in. I'm not writing this story, my hands are – I have no say in the matter. I am nothing more but a tool that my hands use to turn ink into words.**

 **Last time, a character named Golem was mentioned. She's basically the only OC I've actually got for BNHA, and I've put a lot of time into developing her. Ironically, this story doesn't really give me a lot of room to show her off to you, so you're gonna have some inferring to do. Still, I'll tell you what I can when I get the chance, and she'll hopefully be interesting to you guys.**

 **Anyhow, enjoy the story! Oh, and, in case I forgot to mention it earlier, I drew a picture of Nouki a couple weeks ago. It's on my Tumblr; just search 'Nouki' or 'Desiderium' or something. Thanks for reading! Kitty out.**

Chapter Two: Kaeru no Ko wa Kaeru

Mr. Bakugou visits his son every day of the week, and decides that "silent" isn't the right word to describe Katsuki's current state. Mr. Bakugou has always been a rather quiet person himself, but neither his wife nor his son shared such a trait. Katsuki and his mother were loud – loud, angry, often vulgar, and so alike in almost every way that Mr. Bakugou had heard jokes that his wife had simply found a way to clone herself (he might've made a couple of those jokes as well, when Katsuki was younger).

But Katsuki was more like his father than people realized. He was analytical and observant, he liked food that was far too spicy for most people, and he was really very bad at properly expressing himself. That last one came as a surprise, to some people. Mrs. Bakugou said what she thought. She was never afraid to admit her own weaknesses, never embarrassed to share her feelings, and always seemed able to read the mood and respond accordingly. Neither Katsuki nor his father was able to do those things nearly as well, and perhaps that was what had drawn Mr. Bakugou to his wife in the first place. He had looked past the anger, the yelling, the curses, and the "unladylike" behavior, and had seen something that no one else had noticed. He'd seen a passionate, loving, powerful woman, who threw everything she had into everything she did. There were those who might say that the Bakugou family was more than a bit dysfunctional, but Mr. Bakugou disagreed. His family was something complicated, something that not everyone could understand, but it wasn't "dysfunctional".

No, not dysfunctional at all. The people who said it was didn't see the little things, the _important_ things. They never saw Mrs. Bakugou softly singing to a six-year-old Katsuki, who'd woken them all up in the middle of the night with a scary dream. They'd never seen Katsuki sneaking into the kitchen to cook breakfast after a huge fight with his mother, and they never saw Mrs. Bakugou sneaking sweets into his lunch in return. They didn't see Mr. Bakugou whispering soothing words to his son as he rubbed aloe vera on Katsuki's palms, back when his Quirk had only just manifested. They didn't Katsuki gripping his father's hand for dear life when he was only ten, because his mother had gotten pneumonia and they hadn't been sure she'd make it. The Bakugou family had always shown their love in actions, not words, and it seemed that that was something not many people could understand.

And now, Katsuki was in the hospital, Mrs. Bakugou was working as hard as she could to distract herself, and Mr. Bakugou was waiting. He was patient; waiting was okay, for him. He visited his son every day of the week, and he spoke to him. Nothing too important; just interesting things he'd heard that day, or something strange that had happened at work, or how he'd bumped into that Kirishima boy while he was leaving the hospital at least four times now.

"He really cares about you," he had said, gaining only a nod and a shrug in response. "You've got a great friend, there, Katsuki."

And Katsuki had said nothing – he hadn't said a word since his return to anyone other than Kirishima, and Mr. Bakugou was okay with that. He'd never needed words to understand his family before, and he certainly didn't need them now.

Katsuki wasn't "silent", like the doctors said; he was _waiting_ for something – just like his father was waiting for something, and his mother was waiting for something, because the Bakugou family is a lot more patient than anyone gives them credit for.

Katsuki doesn't need to say anything to either of his parents just yet. Mr. Bakugou can wait for as long as he needs to, and he thinks to himself that maybe "silence" doesn't mean to him what it means to others, because the room is never silent when he's visiting his son; it's loud.

Loud and passionate, just like his son and wife. But it doesn't seem like anyone else can hear all of the emotion the Bakugou family can pour into a single look.

* * *

Nearly two weeks after Katsuki's return from the villains' grasp (only one week after he'd regained consciousness – well, six days, but who's counting), he speaks to someone other than Kirishima.

"Hi," he says, as his father walks into the room. A couple of the doctors outside gasp and start murmuring amongst one another, but Mr. Bakugou only smiles gently.

"Hey, son," he replies, sitting down next to the bed. "How's it going?" Katsuki shrugs. He doesn't seem to be looking at much in particular.

"It's. Y'know." He offers. Mr. Bakugou nods.

"Sounds about right," he agrees. "Should I call your mom, or is that a bit much for now?" Katsuki shakes his head.

"Don't call," he mumbles. "Too hard to focus on more than one person."

"Okay," his father says simply. "She says 'hi', though, like always." He hesitates for a moment. "She'd be here, if she thought it would help," the words are awkward, but Mr. Bakugou thinks this is something that should be _said_ , just in case. "But, you know, your mom is a little bit–"

"Bitchy?" Katsuki offers.

"Intense," his father corrects him. "We're glad you're– here. We're glad you're here." Not _back_ , because he's not entirely sure that he is and they probably aren't either, and not _okay_ , because he isn't, not by a long shot, but maybe–

"Am I okay?" Katsuki asks. It's a surprisingly insecure question, especially from someone like Katsuki, but understandable, given the circumstances.

"I don't know," Mr. Bakugou replies, unhelpfully. "Are you?"

"'S why I'm asking," he mutters. His father smiles sadly at him.

"It's not really a question that I can answer," he says. "Maybe it's not a question _anyone_ can answer. We might just have to wait and see." Katsuki frowns, but doesn't respond. They sit together in silence for a while, before Mr. Bakugou speaks again. "I don't know if anyone's told you this yet, but Golem is alive." Katsuki looks up.

"I thought Mas–" he stops himself, looking a bit sick. "I thought that _cock-sucking piece of shitfuck_ killed her." _I thought he made_ _ **me**_ _kill her_.

"She's one tough cookie," his father says mildly, ignoring the near slip-up. "She's been worried sick about you. Doesn't show it, but I can tell."

"Shouldn't she be in jail?" Katsuki wonders. A villain is a villain, no matter what they'd done. His father gives him a thoughtful look.

"Well," he begins, "the funny thing _is_ , no one seems to recall her committing any actual crimes. In fact, according to All Might, she's been a spy all along." That's the stupidest thing Katsuki has ever heard in his life, and it shows on his face. On the other hand, he'd bet good money that Golem is the reason they found him.

"Where is she?" he asks, because it's easier than asking about All Might, who's apparently still alive somehow, despite the things Shigaraki Tomura had hissed in his ear while _every bone in his body felt like it was aching fucking on_ _ **fire**_ _only not literally not this time but_ _ **fucking hell will that guy ever shut the fuck**_ –

"I'm not sure," his father tells him. "She kept trying to go after you, despite her injuries–"

"'Cause she's a fucking idiot," Katsuki grumbles. His father shrugs.

"Maybe," he allows, "I think she blames herself, though." Katsuki doesn't say anything to that, because he doesn't know whether or not she _should_ blame herself. But then he remembers All For One's voice, the familiar sensation of his hands heating up before–

 _Explosion, a woman's scream of pain, furious yells, running running running "don't worry about me, just go" running, All Might's there, and– is that Deku?_

 _Is that… it's Deku, yes, and the Vice-President, and that freaking glasses nerd, and that stupid fucking half-and-half bastard, and–_

 _"Come!"_

"You still there, Katsuki?" his father murmurs, and Katsuki blinks back into the world, knuckles clenched white against the pale blue of the hospital covers. He tries to say 'yes' or something similar, but his voice fails, so he just shrugs. Mr. Bakugou looks carefully at him, and then sighs. "I'll come back tomorrow, okay?"

 _"I'll visit tomorrow, too."_

Katsuki nods, and watches his father leave the room. He turns to look out the window as the doctors come back in, and he thinks he sees a slim figure in a hoodie slinking away between the trees. He doesn't have to wonder who it is; the scars on her hands – the only visible part of her body right now – stand out even from a distance.

* * *

When Inko comes in to check on Katsuki, the doctors tell her that he's sleeping, which isn't too surprising, all things considered. Still, she had promised to check in on her best friend's son, since Mrs. Bakugou wasn't sure if Katsuki wanted to see her yet. She'd promised her own son too, so she quietly walked into the hospital room, not entirely sure what to expect.

Katsuki's brow is narrowed in a frown, his eyes squeezed tightly shut, and he seems to be biting his lip. Nightmare, Inko thinks immediately. She places her purse down on the dresser and walks over to the sleeping boy.

"Katsuki-kun," she whispers, gently touching his shoulder. "Wake up now, Katsuki-kun." His eyes shoot open, and his hands rush forward, but Inko catches his wrists before he can actually hit her. "It's just me, Katsuki-kun," she murmurs. "You remember me, don't you?"

 _Auntie Inko_ , Bakugou's brain supplies, but his mouth can't seem to form the words. Instead, he makes a strange choking noise.

"Just breathe," Inko says soothingly. "It's okay. It's just me." Bakugou's eyes are wide, and Inko almost thinks he's about to start crying. She pulls him against her, runs her hands through his hair, and whispers things she hopes will calm him. After a few minutes, his breathing slows, and he's able to relax slightly in her arms.

Nothing Inko does can stop the shaking.

 **AN: Yay, Inko's here! I was gonna introduce Golem in the last scene, but I decided against it. Actually, I didn't initially plan for her to be in the story at** ** _all_** **, but then I realized that the villains don't actually have a doctor (or, if they do, we've never seen 'em), and Golem at least knows how to keep people alive, so she ended up being necessary. For anyone wondering, no, there will not be any OC/canon romance. In fact, there might not be** ** _any_** **romance, but there definitely won't be any ship with Golem in it that isn't purely platonic. It would just be… creepy, really.**

 **Anyway, this chapter's title is "Kaeru no Ko wa Kaeru", which literally means "the son of a frog is a frog". I'll let you guess what the less literal meaning is. Thanks for reading, please review, and I hope you enjoy! Kitty out.**


	3. Seiten no Heki Reki

**AN: I wrote nine fucking pages for this chapter, and then realized that it didn't fit the tone of the story. Argh, it's so annoying. There were a couple of scenes that I liked, so I might have an interlude later on, but right now I have leave that behind because I really want this story to turn out well. I need to get into the habit of editing my work more… maybe I should do multiple drafts for each chapter or something. It's very strange, because this story isn't too different from my usual style, but it's a lot harder. With Deicide and Things Fall Apart, there are loads and loads of characters, so I can jump scenes whenever I get stuck (which is really lazy and I'm beginning to think has a negative effect on my writing), but I can't do that here. There are a lot of characters, sure, but not nearly as many as Fairy Tail or the Naritaverse, and there are fewer locations as well. On the bright side, I suppose I** ** _am_** **being forced to go beyond my limits, so… PLUS ULTRA!**

Chapter Three: Seiten no Heki Reki

Three weeks after Bakugou's return, Ashido, Kaminari, Sero, and Uraraka sneak into his room.

"Okay, you are _definitely_ not supposed to be in here," Kirishima says, looking more exasperated than actually angry. Bakugou, who had tensed up when the door had open, relaxes slightly.

"I _know_ ," Ashido despairs. "I tried so hard not to come, but I –" she stops, voice cracking slightly, and rubs at her eyes.

"We wanted to see for ourselves," Sero says quietly. He looks serious, for once. "I mean, we all trust you, Kirishima, but… you know." Kirishima nods, and glances at Bakugou, who is visibly uncomfortable. This is, after all, the first time so many people have been in his room all at once. Even the doctors only showed up in groups of two or three, and his three visitors (his dad, Kirishima, and Deku's mom) never showed up together either.

"If you want us to leave, we'll go." Uraraka says quickly. "We definitely don't want to–" Bakugou cuts her off with a grunt and a shrug.

"I think it's fine," Kirishima says after a moment. "I mean, I know Golem's keeping guard, and you wouldn't have gotten past her if she didn't want you to. Bakugou might not talk, though."

"I can talk just fine," Bakugou growls, but the words and tone aren't nearly as aggressive as they usually would be, and he's still staring at his knees.

"We're glad you're back, bro," Kaminari tells him, and Bakugou grunts again. He feels like there's something he should say, but the words stick in his throat like molasses, and his tongue feels made of lead. Uraraka and Kirishima had been there during both the attempted rescue and the successful one, and Kaminari had been there for the latter, but he hadn't seen Ashido or Sero since…

He tries to remember the last time he saw them. It's been a long time, he knows that much. And that fact brings up another question, one that's been on his mind for a while but he really isn't sure he wants answered.

"How–" he tries to say, but his tongue trips up and he chokes on the molasses syllables. They all wait patiently, and Bakugou forces himself to finish speaking. "How long was I gone?" he asks finally. The room goes silent, no one entirely sure of what to say, and Bakugou tries to clarify. "I, uh, I saw the Sports Festival," he offers, and Uraraka starts in surprise.

"They let you watch?" she asks, looking confused. Bakugou shrugs uncomfortably, tracing the small crescent scar above his right cheekbone. Images of a knife, a TV, and bound wrists flash through his mind, accompanied by the sound of a young girl giggling maniacally.

"'Let' is probably the wrong word," he mumbles. "But you guys weren't there."

"Of course we weren't!" Ashido protests. "We weren't gonna participate without you! The Bakusquad needs the Bakuboom!" Bakugou rolls his eyes so hard he's amazed they don't fall out.

"Not just the Bakusquad," Sero adds, "everyone, really. You have a habit of… making people want to do better."

"I have a habit of pissing people off," Bakugou corrects. Kaminari shrugs.

"Pissed off people try harder," he points out. "You're sort of a goal for a lot of people. You're surprisingly inspirational."

"That's one word for it," Uraraka jokes, and Bakugou scowls. "Plus, our class has a lot more combat experience than really anyone else at this point."

 _Fighting back to back with Kirishima, that weird-ass bird thing rushing towards him, All Might yanking him out of the way, fighting in the Sports Festival – against Uraraka, against Kirishima, against that bird guy, against fucking Todoroki and his goddamn daddy issues – and fucking_ winning _, fighting_ against _All Might_ with _Deku, fighting against that– that – that_ _ **thing**_ _in the forest_

 _(a little girl crying, a mother begging, "please no please no please have mercy please let us go", "_ _ **kill them, Nouki**_ _")_

"Answer the question," Bakugou snaps, shaking himself out of the echoes of the past. "How long?"

"Why are you only asking this now?" Kaminari asks carefully. In the back of his mind, Bakugou wonders if Kaminari had somehow realized that Bakugou hadn't been _there_ for a moment.

"Change the subject again, and I'll explodo-kill your face." Bakugou hisses. Anger is generally considered a negative feeling, but it's a feeling that Bakugou is glad to have back. He prefers his anger issues to the dull nothingness that he'd felt as Nouki, thank you very much.

"We're about to begin our third year," Ashido says softly. "It's the middle of summer now, but–"

"Wait," Bakugou cuts her off, frown deepening. "That means… I'm seventeen?"

"You turn eighteen in about a month," Kirishima confirms. "It's March now."

"I remember the fucking _months_ , dumbass." Bakugou snarls, even angrier because _no he hadn't_ (and isn't that just pathetic as fuck).

"Okay, okay." Kirishima laughs it off, because he's _Kirishima_ so of course he does, waving his hand dismissively. "I was just making sure, Blasty."

"Die." Bakugou tells him, and Kirishima laughs harder. The others join in, so Bakugou tells them all to die too.

"Hurry up and get better," Uraraka says, when the laughter finally dies down. "We want an even number of classmates again." Bakugou blinks.

"They haven't replaced me?" he asks, surprised. "I missed a whole year; I'll be a grade behind you guys now."

"A couple people tried," Sero says, grinning madly. "You should've seen Aizawa-sensei's face when the reporters asked who your replacement will be."

"In fact," Ashido pipes up, yanking out her phone, "I already pulled up the video of the interview for you." The six of them crowd around the small screen, and Bakugou is surprised to discover that it doesn't really bother him when Uraraka's arm accidentally jostles his. The video starts with a mildly annoyed Aizawa with a microphone in his face.

 _"And who will be replacing Bakugou Katsuki in your classroom?" the reporter asks. Aizawa takes a second to process this, and then his eyes narrow._

 _"'Replacing'?" he repeats, and the reporter nods enthusiastically. Present Mic is behind Aizawa, frantically making signals to the reporter to change the conversation ASAP, but it's too late. Aizawa snatches the microphone, and the ferocity of the scowl on his face is one that even Bakugou himself couldn't match._

 _"Hey–" the reporter protests, but Aizawa ignores him._

 _"Bakugou Katsuki is not going to be_ replaced _," Aizawa snarls, and whoever is holding the camera takes a noticeable – and understandable – step back. "Bakugou Katsuki is going to be found, he is going to be brought home, and if you honestly think that be kidnapped for a few months is enough to stop Bakugou Katsuki from being a hero, then you don't know_ shit _. There will be a place in my class for him until such time as he graduates, decides to leave of his own free will, or – knowing him – gets sick of waiting for us to give him his hero license and just straight-up steals it."_ The video cuts off.

"They had to stop recording after that," Kirishima says, looking a little embarrassed.

"After Aizawa-sensei got mad at them, they started trying to interview _us_ ," Sero adds, smirking. " Jirou heard one of the reporters asking if you'd left of your own free will, and… well, Midnight had to knock us out."

"As in, 'the whole class'," Uraraka says, not looking the least bit ashamed. "And some of the 2-B kids too."

"Kendou was _pissed_ ," Kaminari remembers, grinning madly. "She must've crushed at least six cameras. Only got away with it 'cause Yaomomo threatened to sue them all for harassment if anyone complained. Todoroki threatened to freeze one of 'em. I mean actually _freeze_ , in a freezer 'n shit, not with his Quirk."

"Mineta actually bit someone!" Ashido cackles.

"Did they go after my parents?" Bakugou asks, because his mom going off like a nuclear missile at a bunch of reporters would've been a sight worth seeing under _any_ circumstances.

"Yeah, but your dad asked to be left alone and your mom starting handing out death threats," Uraraka tells him. "Eventually, the cops started arresting people, so…"

"They _arrested_ people?" Bakugou raises an eyebrow. Reporters were annoying, sure, but…

 _"Aren't you that kid from the sludge villain incident?" "What exactly happened at the USJ; could you explain?" "Let us talk to All Might!"_ Yeah, no – arrest was probably totally justified.

"A couple tried to break into Midoriya's house," Sero says grimly. "Wanted to talk to your old friend or whatever, but his mom called the cops and–"

"We aren't friends," Bakugou interrupts. He's never seen five people roll their eyes simultaneously, but there's a first time for everything. "We're _not_ ," he repeats.

"Okay, sure," Uraraka says, trying and miserably failing to hide a smile. "I'll make sure to let Deku-kun know, just in case he has some crazy idea to the contrary." Bakugou scoffs and grumbles under his breath.

The conversation becomes small talk, and Bakugou listens to his not-friends ramble on about strange things that had happened recently, like Hagakure drawing a stick figure on Mineta's face and forbidding anyone from speak of it (it had lasted for about seven hours before he finally caught a glimpse of it in the mirror, or Deku's mom making _amazing_ chocolate chip cookies (which Bakugou remembers very well from his childhood), and even that time when Monoma 'accidentally' pushed Kaminari into the pool and nearly fried Jirou.

And then, something strange happens – whatever the hell Sero's laughing about becomes distorted, like Bakugou's head is suddenly underwater, and he hears a high-pitched buzzing sound. He frowns, scratching at his ears, but the others don't seem to notice anything, so he keeps quiet. Slowly, the noise gets louder and louder, and then suddenly stops. He can see Ashido's mouth moving, but he can just barely hear the sound, and the words are indiscernible. His head is pounding, but he can barely feel the pain over the sensation of numbness that has washed over him. The world blurs before him, and, just before everything goes black, he thinks he hears someone calling his name.

* * *

He awakens to five humans looking down at him. Red, black, pink, yellow, and brown, his mind supplies. All of them are talking, but he ignores them, looking down at his arms instead. The restraints he vaguely remembers are no longer there. Perhaps that means it's time for him to do something?

Thoughts enter his head that do not belong to him, but he doesn't mind – he isn't supposed to have an opinion anyway. With his most recent order in mind, Nouki reaches for the red-haired human's throat.

 **AN: A little shorter than I would've liked, but that's the way the ball bounces, I suppose. Anyhow… look who's ba~ack! XD Mwahahahahahahahahaha. Ah, I missed you, Nouki. Torturing my children just isn't the same without drama and brainwashing. On the bright side, you guys might meet Golem soon! Maybe. I'm not sure. No one's shown any interest in her yet (which is fair – she's been casually brought up in all three chapters thus far, but her only actual appearance was a brief cameo in chapter two, so I don't expect anyone to care about her just yet), but she's kinda a must-have in this story. Who knows, if her character gets a positive response from you lot, maybe I'll write a crack story with her in it (granted, it'll be by me, so there's gonna be angsty shit too, probably).**

 **Also, in Japan, the names of the months (Ichigatsu, Nigatsu, Sangatsu, etc.) are basically just numbers (month one, month two, month three, etc.). Bakugou was born in April, or Shigatsu (month four). Mixing up the months in Japanese is essentially mixing up** ** _counting_** **. So yeah, that's why he's so mad about that. I have to admit that, due to Golem being a necessary part of this story, there will be some things that will need to be explained in the Author's Notes due to English and Japanese not being the same language. Sorry 'bout that.**

 **Anyhow, the title this time translates to "thunderclap from a clear sky". It might be a bit less subtle than the others, but such is life.**

 **Thanks for reading! Kitty out.**


	4. Neko ni Koban

**AN: I wanted to get some work done for some of my other stories, but I guess that's not happening because I don't fucking know. Anyhow, hopefully this story will get better soon. I really wanted to build-up Golem's character a bit more, but that seems kinda pointless since no one gives a shit. I'm not in a great mood today, if you hadn't noticed. Isn't depression fun, kids? Well, whatever, it doesn't matter. I wish I were better at planning things out; maybe then you guys would get a decent story for a change.**

 **Ok, less depressed now (at least two weeks later; go figure), so I thought I should give you a heads up: the characters are in Japan and are thus speaking Japanese. I know that may seem obvious, but I do need to warn you because Golem is** ** _not_** **a native speaker, and she often confuses similar-sounding words. Enjoy.**

Chapter Four: Neko ni Koban

A hand latches onto his wrist, and Nouki blinks. The hooded woman – _soft, scarred hands, makes the hurt stop, it stops, help_ – stares coolly down at him. The red-haired human laughs nervously.

"Really had me going there, buddy," he says, forcing a grin. "Thought you were about to strangle me for sure."

"Eijirou," the hooded woman says. "Please escort your friends and your _self_ from the premises. None of you are to return without express permission. From me." The redhead frowns.

"We're not just–" he begins.

"You came here to visit Katsuki," the hooded woman cuts him off. "As Katsuki is no longer here, you too should leave."

"What do you mean he's not here?" the yellow one asks, frowning.

"Nouki," the redhead says quietly. Nouki looks at him. _Kill_ , he remembers. He tugs at his wrist. In one smooth motion, the hooded woman yanks him out of the bed and throws him against the floor, somehow maintaining her death grip on his arm. Nouki grunts as the back of his head smacks the tile, but the pain is easy to ignore.

"Try to escape again and I will snap your wrist," the hooded woman tells him, ignoring the others' protests. Nouki stares balefully up at her, but obeys. The hooded woman glances at the five others – _Kirishima, Kaminari, Uraraka, Ashido, Sero_ , his mind hisses, and he shoves the thought aside, because he isn't supposed to know that – and sighs. "Well then." Her grip loosens slightly and, just as Nouki prepares to attack, she yanks him up by his hospital gown.

Nouki doesn't even have time to register exactly what she does as he passes out.

* * *

"What just happened?" Sero demands, as Bakugou goes limp in Golem's arms.

"He's supposed to be Bakugou again!" Kirishima protests at the same time. Both boys are ignored, and Golem carefully puts Bakugou back on the bed, ignoring the leather restraints. Golem gestures towards the door and leads them outside.

"I do not recall ever saying that Nouki was gone," she says shortly. "In fact, I greatly suspected the opposite to be the case. Eijirou, the fact that you were able to trigger Katsuki into surfacing implied that something – or someone, I suppose – would likely be able to trigger Nouki in a similar manner."

"Who _is_ Nouki, exactly?" Uraraka asks. Golem sighs, and leans against the wall.

"I would refer to Nouki as a self-defense mechanism," she explains. "If a person becomes unable to deal with their surroundings, they might shut down. In this case, due to certain… circumstances, and a distasteful usage of Quirks, a split personality has appeared. While Nouki and Katsuki are arguably still one and the same, they will act differently. Katsuki will act as he always has, with the additional burden of PTSD, and Nouki will do what he believes is in his best interest – i.e., following orders."

"So, if we were to tell him–" Ashido looks hopeful, but Golem raises a hand to stop her.

"Nouki has been conditioned to only obey certain people," she tells them. "That is where the difference between he and Katsuki can best be observed. Katsuki acts according to his emotions, in the desire to protect his pride. Nouki acts on basic animal instinct, prioritizing survival above all else. Combining a mindset like Nouki's with certain methods of brainwashing creates a being that believes that acting a certain way is in his best interest. In this case, that means putting the orders of the League above all else, including his own safety."

"That doesn't make any sense!" Sero protests. Golem shrugs.

"That would be because you and I are thinking clearly," she replies. "Nouki, however, is not thinking at all – simply acting. He has been trained to obey, and he will do so unquestioningly. Unless they are rescinded, he will do everything in his power to follow the orders he has been given, with the same intensity and logic you might see when the scent of blood touches the nose of a great white turtle." Silence.

"Shark," Kaminari says after a moment. Golem looks at him.

"Sorry?"

"You mean 'great white _shark_ '," he mumbles, taking a small step back. Golem frowns.

"What did I say?"

"You said 'turtle'."

The room is silent for a moment, no one entirely sure of how to react.

"Anyway," Golem continues brusquely, turning back towards the door. "You should all go home. I'll let you know when it's safe to return."

"But–"

"Hang on–"

"What about–"

They all begin shouting protests at once until Golem rounds on them.

"This is a hospital," she hisses at them. "None of you are supposed to be here without reason. If you do not leave _right this instant_ , I will _give_ you a reason to be here."

"…Visiting hours?" Ashido asks hopefully. There's a thwacking sound as Golem's knife buries itself into the wall next to the pink-haired girl's face.

"And we're leaving!" Kaminari says, at a slightly higher pitch than usual. He grabs Ashido and Kirishima's wrists and begins tugging them away. "Come on, guys, time to go. Don't wanna miss class." Sero and Uraraka exchange glances, and quickly follow along.

As they're exiting the building, Kaminari glances back up at the window to Bakugou's room, frowning.

"What?" Sero asks. "Do you see something?" Kaminari shakes his head.

"No," he grumbles. "I just realized that it's summer break. We don't _have_ class."

* * *

When Bakugou wakes up, the first thing he does is punch himself in the face. It hurts – quite a bit, actually – but he feels it was warranted.

"I highly doubt that that will aid your recovery," Golem says, not looking up from her newspaper. Bakugou stares at her.

"The fuck are you doing with that?" he snaps, ignoring her comment. "You can't read it, can you?" She shakes her head.

"No, but it gets the hospital staff to leave me alone." She says flippantly. She folds the newspaper and gets to her feet. "You gave your classmates quite the scare this morning, you know." Bakugou frowns.

"This morning?" he asks. "How long was I out?"

"Two hours, forty-seven minutes, and eighty-six seconds," Golem tells him immediately. Bakugou stares at her.

"…You just pulled that out of your ass," he says flatly. She shrugs.

"Perhaps," she's laughing internally; he _knows_ it. "It's not relevant either way."

"Did you know that was going to happen?" Bakugou demands. "Did you know that I– that I was gonna turn back into _that_?" She shrugs.

"I knew it was a possibility," she admits. "But I had no way of confirming it, aside from–"

"Aside from what, putting my friends in extreme danger?" he snarls. She grins.

"So they _are_ your friends, then," she asks. Bakugou slams his fist against the nightstand, and regrets it when his hand starts throbbing.

"They could've been _killed_ ," he growled. "By _me_ ,"

"I had no intention of allowing that to happen. Still, I hope you realize that I was unaware the trigger would be so extreme." He turns away.

"Whatever." There's a silence in the room, and then–

"All Might scolded me too, if that makes you feel better," she says. It does, but he refuses to admit it. _All Might_ …

"Where is he?" Bakugou asks, trying to force thoughts of Nouki (and everything else) out of his mind. Golem shrugs, leaning back against the wall.

"I don't know," she says simply. "I doubt he feels ready to see you, though. He thinks you'll blame yourself for what happened."

"Because it was my _fault_ ," Bakugou points out.

"And he was right, apparently," she comments. "Katsuki, this isn't the type of situation where only one party is at fault. Although, I would blame Eraserhead and the Pussycats, if I were going to point fingers." Bakugou glowers at her.

"That's not–" he begins, but she stops him.

"The duty of pro heroes acting as teachers is to protect the students assigned to their care," she says shortly. "They failed to do so."

"It's not their fault if the villains overpowered them!" Bakugou snaps. She stares at him pointedly. "It's different–"

"You're right. It _is_ different. They're adults, and you're a child. That is how the world works. Always has been, always will be." Golem leans forward, her eyes shining beneath the shadows of her hood. "And you _know_ that, Katsuki. The reason you don't want me placing blame on them is because you blame yourself for what happened to Ragdoll, right?" Bakugou scowls, and turns away. After a moment, Golem sighs. "I won't push that one any further," she says calmly. "But it is a conversation you are going to have to have. If not with me, then with Masaru or Mitsuki–"

"Oh my _fuck_ ," Bakugou interrupts her. "Don't call my parents by their _names_ ; that's fucking weird as shit." Golem looks at him for a couple of seconds.

"…No," she decides. "This way is easier." Bakugou groans, and shoves his pillow over his face.

"You're the _worst_ ," he declares, voice muffled. "Go away. I'm banishing you from my room." He waits a few moments, and then removes the pillow from his face. Not surprisingly, Golem is gone. He knows she's not too far away, of course, but it's still rather unsettling how quickly – and quietly – she can move.

Bakugou takes a deep breath and shuts his eyes.

* * *

The instant she's absolutely sure he's asleep, Golem reenters Bakugou's room. No point in waiting outside when anyone trying to break in was probably going to go for the windows anyway. She glances down at the newspaper she'd been pretending to read, taking in the neatly printed. She remembers how many times people have advocated literacy to her, and how many times those same people had shaken their heads and smiled in an almost patronizing way at her refusal to learn. She remembers being able to read, once – in a different language, and only a small amount, but _still_. She remembers turning the pages and watching the words come _alive_. She remembers an old man's eyes twinkling as she stumbles over words, remembers a quiet woman softly correcting her pronunciation. The memories flicker through her mind, distant images of the past, none lasting longer than a moment or two.

Golem sits down in her chair and thinks of all the things no words could possibly describe. Perhaps, she thinks, this too is a sort of love. She's still learning, after all, and there are so many words she wouldn't understand even if she _could_ read. Absently, she begins to toy with the paper, folding it into different shapes (it's called 'origami' here, she recalls, but it's nothing more than a habit to her).

The words on the paper are as worthless to her as gold coins to a cat.

 **AN: I know everyone was expecting an action scene, and I** ** _swear_** **to you I tried to deliver; I really did. But writing action doesn't come naturally to me at all… I hope this turned out all right, though.**

 **Anyhow, lemme explain the shark joke for you guys: In Japanese, the word for 'shark' is 'same' (rhymes with flambé, sort of), and the word for 'great white shark' is 'hohoshirozame'. The word for 'turtle' is 'kame'. What Golem said was 'hohoshirokame', which is wrong (even if she meant to say "great white turtle", it would've been something like "daishirogame" or something).**

 **The title here, "Neko ni Koban", translates to "gold coins before a cat". This one is pretty obvious, as it's referenced at the end of the chapter, but I still wanted to mention it. As I mentioned earlier, I don't intend to really delve into Golem's backstory in this fic, but she's an important character, so I'll definitely be hinting at some things. Thanks for reading, please review, and I hope you enjoyed! Kitty out.**


	5. Juunin Toiro

**AN: I guess all those reviews managed to inspire me after all, cause look who's getting started on chapter five! This guy! But anyway, thank you guys so much for all your feedback; not only is it really helpful, but it also just means a lot to me. I know last chapter I said I wouldn't be going into Golem's backstory much in this fic, but… does anyone** ** _want_** **me to? I'm sure I could find a way, if anyone's interested. I don't mind if you're not, though – this is a Bakugou-centric story, after all. Well, I don't have too much to say this time, so… read, review, and enjoy! Kitty out.**

Chapter Five: Juunin Toiro

Less than a week after the "oops-I-nearly-killed-Kirishima" incident has All Might standing in Bakugou's hospital room, wringing his hands nervously. Golem is sitting in a chair in the corner of the room, watching, but all Bakugou can do is think about how much worse All Might looks in person than on TV. He's covered in bandages, looks like a skeleton, he's walking with a cane, and– and Deku is right behind him.

"Do they need to leave?" Golem asks casually after everyone else plays the Quiet Game for nearly five minutes. Bakugou shakes his head, and focuses on glaring at Deku, because that's easy and he knows how to do it and it's just so _easy to hate that little fucker's fucking guts–_

 _("You're already so much like us," Shigaraki's voice hisses in his head and he thinks he's crying but that's stupid because_ _ **heroesdontcry**_ _"it's so easy, right?")_

"Fuck you, Deku," Bakugou says, because he knows how to say that and no amount of unpleasant flashbacks will take away his ability to tell Deku exactly what he can do with his goddamn magical Quirk. The room seems less tense now that he's said it, and Deku grins at him (well, as much as Deku ever really grins at him – he's always been scared of Bakugou, for good reason, and it's fucking _refreshing_ to know that there's at least someone who still cringes away from him when–)

He stops that train of thought it its tracks, because he knows exactly where he's going, and _Shigaraki isn't going to win this one_. Bakugou is nothing if not stubborn.

 _(Unless_ _ **they**_ _were right, in which case he's just nothing)_

* * *

Talking to Kacchan is always a challenge – Midoriya isn't sure they've ever managed a civil conversation, and it's not like things between them had improved much before– well, before _that_. All Might is still looking rather uncomfortable, and the creepy woman – Golem, he corrects himself, because "the creepy woman is rude", even if it's just in his head – isn't someone he knows well enough to feel comfortable around and Midoriya's mind is running a mile a minute as he tries to figure out what to say, and then Kacchan opens his mouth and–

"Fuck you, Deku," Midoriya's mouth moves itself into the semi-terrified smile he's so used to wearing when Kacchan's around, but he tries to make it seem more casual.

"Todoroki thought All Might was my dad!" Midoriya blurts, and Golem snorts into the book she's not even pretending to read. Midoriya can feel his face getting redder and redder. He can't bring himself to even glance in All Might's direction. "Um." He manages. "I was. I was going over icebreakers in my heads because I read somewhere that that helps in tense situations and this is, uh, definitely pretty tense – f-for everyone, I mean – and I didn't know what to say but that just popped out and it- it did _happen_ but that was during the Sports Festival – the one you were there for, I mean – and– oh gosh that was so insensitive I'm so sorry I–"

Kacchan's pillow hits him dead in the face, and Midoriya's jaw snaps shut.

"Shut the fuck up, dumbass," he growls, and Midoriya decides not to point out that he's not talking anymore. Kacchan glowers over at Golem, still sniggering in the corner. "You shut the fuck up too," he adds. He looks at All Might, and Midoriya can't stop himself from looking as well, despite how embarrassed he still is (All Might looks embarrassed too, but not as much because he's probably busy thinking over the various ways he could've saved Kacchan sooner and avoided this whole mess – not that Midoriya hasn't been doing that too).

"Young Bakugou–" All Might begins, and then stops.

"I didn't tell," Kacchan says, and Midoriya realizes that he's not looking at All Might anymore and his knuckles are white against the sheets of his bed. "I dunno if I was right anyway, but I didn't say shit about Deku."

"That's not why I'm here," All Might tells him, frowning. Kacchan looks up, and Midoriya recognizes the " _don't you fucking patronize me_ " look that he's seen so many times before. All Might must recognize it too, because he raises his hands defensively (they all pretend they don't see Kacchan's tiny flinch at the movement). "That's not the _only_ reason I'm here," All Might amends. "Your safety and well-being is my biggest concern at the moment, but…" he hesitates. "I came here to apologize."

* * *

"I came here to apologize." All Might says, and Bakugou feels sick.

"Don't," he says, before All Might can go on. "Don't. Not– not your fault." It's a fight to keep his breathing steady, to keep himself grounded in the here and now, but goddamn if it's not a fight he's _winning_.

"I knew you'd say something like that," Deku – that _fuck_ – mumbles, and Bakugou shoots him a dark look (their eyes meet, only this time Deku's not the one who looks away first).

"All Might," Golem speaks up, and Bakugou glares at her too, mostly out of principle. "I advise that you proceed with caution here."

"What are you, my goddamn warning sign?" Bakugou sneers, flipping her off.

"Thank you, Golem," All Might interrupts. "But I know. Young Bakugou, I–"

"I told you not to apologize," Bakugou grumbles. "You didn't tell those motherfuckers to–" he stops. "You didn't–" the words continue to escape him, and he bites the inside of his cheek, infuriated at his inability to find _a single goddamn verb for fuck's sake_. "It wasn't your fault," he says, again. All Might opens his mouth and then closes it again. "You, though," Bakugou adds, glaring at Deku. "You got some fuckin' nerve. I told you not to fuckin' come after me, didn't I? Piece of shit."

"S-sorry," Deku says, but he's hiding a smile, and it pisses Bakugou off a bit (just a bit, though). "If it makes you feel better, Iida, Yaoyorozu, Todoroki, Kirishima, and I all got in a bunch of trouble for that. The only reason we didn't get much punishment is because…" he trails off, eyes flickering down to Bakugou's leg before shooting back up to look anywhere else. Bakugou tries not to think too much about that. "Because Aizawa-sensei thought it wouldn't help," Deku says, and that's probably true.

Golem makes eye contact with All Might, and they step out of the room. Deku carefully takes a seat, and Bakugou grumbles meaningless sounds under his breath, because this doesn't bother him nearly as much as it should.

* * *

"How's he doing?" a voice next to Midoriya's ear says, and he jumps before remembering where he is.

"I think he's doing better," he says, and the floating hair tie moves, so he assumes Hagakure is nodding.

"He'll be back in no time," Kaminari states, leaning back. "I'm finally ahead of that guy, but…"

"Knowing Bakugou, he'll be back at the top of the class in a month," Ashido agrees. Uraraka grins, and puts on the angriest expression she can manage.

"A month?" She snarls, in a surprisingly good imitation of the classmate in question. "You damn raccoon-eyed freak; I'll be back on top in a week!"

"I'm telling him about this, you know," Kirishima tells them. Sero shrugs.

"Go for it," he says. "He'll probably see it as a challenge."

"Maybe don't tell him, then," Yaoyorozu cuts in, frowning. "Bakugou's going to push himself a lot already; we don't need him collapsing from exhaustion."

"I'm with Yaomomo on this," Jirou calls from across the room. "It'd be pretty embarrassing if we accidentally goad him into getting himself hospitalized right after he gets out." She'd been there too, Midoriya remembers, when they'd actually succeeded with the rescue. Because they hadn't taken a hint from the first time, and there hadn't been a big enough pause in the action for Aizawa to tell them to stop.

Midoriya likes to think they'd accomplished something, that time – him, Todoroki, Jirou, Uraraka, Sero, Kirishima, Tetsutetsu, and an upper classman whose name Midoriya can't remember but he's pretty sure it had something to do with waves and twisting. Tokoyami had been there too, but he'd been the one to alert the heroes that he might've found Bakugou. Still, he's fairly certain that their little group of heroes-in-training had mostly just served as a distraction. Maybe that was enough, though – maybe that had been just enough to ensure a successful rescue. Well, a semi-successful rescue, that is.

Midoriya looks over at his classmates, trying to distract himself from who they hadn't managed to save. Ragdoll's funeral had been held a week after Bakugou had been rescued, and the image of Kouta and Pixie-bob sobbing uncontrollably while Mandalay and Tiger stared on with shell-shocked expressions was burned into his mind. He hadn't heard anything from any of them since, and he could only hope they were all doing okay.

"Young Midoriya?" Midoriya snaps out of his thoughts, turning to face his mentor. The chatter in the room hadn't quite died, but it was noticeably quieter now.

"All Might?" Midoriya blinked – he hadn't noticed the former hero's entrance.

"If you don't mind, I'd like to talk to you," All Might says. His hands are clasped together rather tightly, and Midoriya thinks he might look a little worried. "Not right now, but… soon. Is that alright?"

"Of course it's fine," Midoriya began, and then stopped. "…Why are you _asking_ , exactly?" All Might looks down.

"Young Bakugou… implied that the League of Villains wanted information from him," he says quietly. "We need to know what they asked and what he said. Not now, but as soon as possible. I thought you might like to be present when that conversation happens, as it almost certainly involves you." Kacchan will probably be angry, Midoriya realizes, but…

"Who else will be there?" he asks, already beginning to run possible scenarios over in his mind.

"Myself, the Headmaster, a couple other heroes, Young Bakugou's parents– Golem will likely also insist on being present, so her as well, and…" All Might trails off, swallowing. "And, if you choose to come, yourself. And your mother."

"Oh," the world seems to come to a stop. Realistically, Midoriya knew he couldn't hide the secret of his Quirk from his mother forever – it wasn't realistic, and it wasn't fair to her. She was his _mother_. She had the right to know. "So. Um. You think we should tell her about One For All?"

"I believe she should know, yes," All Might nods. "It is ultimately your decision, but I do not think she would allow you to attend such a meeting without knowing why you of all people should be there. And if we tell her the truth, she will likely wish to be a part of the conversation too." Midoriya takes a deep breath.

"I might need some time," he mumbles. "I don't– I have _no idea_ what to tell her."

"Nor do I," All Might confesses. "But you should have a decent amount of time, I think. I doubt Young Bakugou will be ready to discuss any of his experiences any time soon. Well," All Might grins ruefully. "I suppose it would be more accurate to say that I doubt Golem will deem him ready for such discussions for a while." Midoriya frowned.

"She hasn't known Kacchan that long," he points out. "How can she know what's best for him?" he doesn't mean to sound as annoyed as he does, but he can't deny that the thought rubs him the wrong way.

"Golem may not have known Young Bakugou as long as you or even me, but she was served as something of a friend in a place where one was sorely needed. She… well, her story is hers to tell, but it would not be inaccurate to say that she has almost certainly shared some similar experiences." All Might glances down to see Midoriya's raised eyebrow and sighs. "You have seen some of her scars on what little skin she doesn't hide," he says gently. "And you know she worked with All For One. Most people do not become villains for fun, Young Midoriya." Midoriya remembers Amajiki Tamaki's description of his fight with three members of the Eight Precepts of Death and nods solemnly. Of course people with harder lots in life would be more likely to turn to villainy. In the back of Midoriya's mind, however, a nagging question refuses to stop bothering him.

If there were people who became villains because they weren't accepted by society, could it be that there were villains who had taken that path because the world revolved around Quirks? Could it be that there were Quirkless villains? A villain like that, Midoriya thought, would have to rely on their natural gifts, be it brains or brawn, to level the playing field. Or perhaps All For One had given them Quirks of their own in exchange for their loyalty.

Midoriya thought back to before he had received his Quirk, when the whole world had seemed against him and he'd accepted All Might's offer _so quickly_ and it could have _easily_ been All For One making that offer and what if he _had_ been desperate enough to accept and what if _he could have been one of the people who hurt Kacchan_ –

"Deku-kun?" Uraraka's voice seems rather far off, and it occurs to Midoriya that he might be breathing a little faster than usual. A hand touches his shoulder and he jerks away, half expecting to see Shigaraki leering down at him. But it's just Iida, who looks more than a little concerned.

"Midoriya?" he asks concerned. Midoriya takes a step back, mumbles something about needing some fresh air, and dashes outside. The world seems to blur, and right as he thinks he's about to black out, everything is suddenly calm. Midoriya straightens, frowning, and then jumps when he sees Golem only a few feet away from him.

"I thought you were still at the hospital?" he manages, once he's recovered from the surprise.

"Eraserhead wished to speak to Katsuki," Golem tells him. "If I'm needed back at the hospital, I can get there quickly, so it shouldn't be a problem. But I felt the need to take a walk. You seem to have had an unpleasant experience." The change in subject was so abrupt that Midoriya had to take a minute to process that this was most likely her way of asking if he was okay.

"I'm fine," he assures her. "Um, did you calm me down?" Golem's lips twitch and she smiles mirthlessly.

"That would be a good ability to have," she notes, and Midoriya is very aware that she didn't answer his question.

"Why did you become a villain?" he blurts out, because it's the first thing that comes to mind and he doesn't realize how intrusive it is until the words are out of his mouth. Before he can apologize for his rudeness, Golem responds.

"I was in a bad situation and I was offered a way out," she says, shrugging. "I took it. That's the situation for a lot of people, I believe. Some do it for fun, but most do it because there's simply no other option for them… or because they've grown disgusted with society's treatment of them."

"Are there… are there Quirkless villains?" Midoriya manages to ask.

"There are," she nods. "Some of them, as I'm sure you guessed, ended up receiving Quirks from Sensei. Others simply desired to prove that not having a Quirk does not define who they are. And some are just bad people. Everyone's situation is different. Two people in the same position may make completely different choices based on the circumstances of their lives and the world around them. Any one of the villains you have faced and will face could have, under different conditions been a hero. The opposite is true as well."

"So… does that mean everyone can be a good person?" Midoriya asks, almost desperately. He knows the idea of making people see the error of their ways and deciding to change for the better is naïve at best and downright idiotic at worst, but… Golem tilts her head to the side. Midoriya can't see most of her face, but he gets the feeling she's raised her eyebrows.

"What makes you think your idea of 'good' is the right one?" she asks. "You have, from birth, been raised within an environment that enforces strict rules of what is 'right' and what is 'wrong'. But other people – some of them heroes – have been raised to follow a very different moral code. Tell me, Izuku, what do you think makes someone 'good'?"

"Well, not hurting people is a start," he mumbles.

"And if that means allowing yourself to be hurt? Possibly even killed? If you're starving in the street, should you break the law and steal food? Or should you just allow yourself to die a slow and painful death? What if you have a family to feed?" her eyes seem to shine out of the shadow of her hood. "You were blessed with a mother who loves you. What if she'd been abusive? You have a father who is, from what I understand, often on business trips, but he still writes you, does he not? You have friends, an education, and a roof over your head. You received an extraordinary gift." Golem stops to take a breath, watching him closely. "But with all the fortune you have had, you have had your share of unfairness, haven't you? Katsuki has bullied you. People have spent most of your life telling you that your dreams were unachievable. The extraordinary gift you received made you a potential target for a very powerful, very _dangerous_ man, and you were not aware of this when you accepted it. So I suppose what I'm asking is this – is it 'right' to help others by sacrificing things for yourself, or is it acceptable to do what you must in order to survive?"

"I don't know," Midoriya admits. Golem shrugs.

"That is because there may not be an answer," she tells him. "But you have made a choice – you have chosen to protect people from harm. Sometimes, that will mean hurting other people. Sometimes, that will mean knowing that there are some people you cannot help. But you made that decision. And you will continue to make decisions all throughout your life. Some will have positive outcomes, others not. But you cannot turn back time, Izuku. You will have to accept the consequences of whatever you choose to do. You may end up in a situation with no obviously good options. Someone once told me," she adds after a moment, "that who you truly are is determined by the choices you make when faced with a situation where you will face no consequences regardless of your actions. I believe that. Had the circumstances been different, then yes, you could very well have been a villain."

"I think I get it," Midoriya says slowly. "I should understand where my enemies are coming from, but I shouldn't let them get away with things because of it. Right?"

"If that's what you got out of that," Golem shrugs. "I did not mean to lecture you, so I apologize for that. I do not speak often, but when I do, I find I have more to say than I first realized. I say what I believe, but that does not necessarily mean I am correct. It just means that that is what I believe." Midoriya nods.

"Thanks," he says quietly. "I think I needed to hear that."

"If you say so," Golem replies. "But I think you could have gotten there on your own. All I did was try and show you a different angle." She glances up at the sky, and for a second Midoriya can see slightly more of her face – there are, as All Might had said, far more scars than he'd realized. "I should get back to the hospital," Golem nods in his direction. "Farewell, Izuku."

"Uh, bye!" he calls after her. Midoriya looks up to see the stars beginning to peek out from behind the clouds. "You know," he says to himself. "I think I should probably call Dad."

 **AN: THIS TOOK FOREVER I'M SO SORRY. Ugh, I had a terrible case of writer's block. But! It's here! Yay! I wanted Golem to be the quiet type, and most of the time she is, but she can get a little long-winded at times. Sorry 'bout that.**

 **Anyway! This chapter's title translates to "ten people, ten colors". Again, not particularly subtle, but it fits. Once more, I am so sorry for how long it took to get this out, and I'm even more sorry that the next one could take even longer. Still, thanks for sticking around! I hope you enjoyed, and please let me know what you though! Kitty out.**


	6. Issun Saki wa Yami

**AN: I almost completely wrote chapter six, and then I realized it was garbage and didn't fit the tone of the story at all, so I'm rewriting it almost entirely. I'm so used to just giving everyone happy endings, but… that doesn't really work for this story, does it? I feel like a story like this should have a more bittersweet ending… especially if there's going to be a sequel (or a prequel, or both). Regardless of what happens here, Marcidum is very close to being done. I originally thought I'd only have six chapters, but I feel like it should be longer… maybe it's not as close to the end as I thought, then. Anyway, I hope you enjoy, and please let me know what you thought! Kitty out.**

 **Side Note** : I'm not sure if I made this clear, but Bakugou's flashbacks are not reliable narrators. The human memory, even ignoring anything to do with trauma, is complex and imperfect. It is possible to remember something differently than how it was in reality, even without outside circumstances, and sometimes your brain will just make shit up. For example, I have a very clear memory of one of my cats levitating me up the staircase when I was four, despite that cat having died when I was _three_ and the situation itself being highly improbable. Of course, there's a chance that that actually _did_ happen, but I think it's more likely that I'm either remembering it incorrectly or imagining it. Either way, I remember it happening. Long story short, you can't trust your memory, so why the hell should you trust someone else's?

 **Warnings** : Bakugou's mouth, mentions of suicidal thoughts, mentions of murder, mentions of the absolute scum of the earth, body horror, teenagers shitting on Jell-O, Golem taking her hood off

Chapter Six: Issun Saki wa Yami

"You'll probably be out of here soon," Kirishima says as soon as he's allowed to visit again, and Bakugou rolls his eyes.

"I fucking know that," he grumbles. "It wouldn't matter so much if the food wasn't fucking disgusting."

"It's hospital food!" Kirishima protests. "It's supposed to be disgusting! Makes you appreciate outside world food more."

"Makes me want to choke the jackass who invented Jell-O," Bakugou corrects him. "Especially the green kind. That shit's the worst."

"I really don't understand Jell-O at all," Kirishima admits. "I mean, who's idea was that? Why?"

"You can literally just Google that," Bakugou points out, and Kirishima shrugs.

"Well, sure," he says amicably. "But then I wouldn't get to complain about it."

"That's dumb. You're a dumbass."

"You love me anyway," Kirishima teases. Bakugou scowls.

"I hate your fucking _guts_ ," he snaps. "Why did Golem ever let you in here to begin with? I doubt you snuck past her." Kirishima fidgets in his seat.

"She came and got me," he admits. Bakugou blinks.

"What?"

"She came and got me," Kirishima says again. "Just… tracked me down and told me to come visit you. Said she'd cover for me if I got in trouble. She's kinda scary, but she's not too bad."

"Oh. My. _Fuck_." Bakugou growls. "Who does she think she is, my mother?"

"Nah, your mom's not nearly as scary," Kirishima laughs. "With Golem… man, I don't even know what she _looks_ like."

"You don't want to," Bakugou tells him quietly. His shoulders quiver slightly for a second. "She hides her face for a goddamn reason." Bakugou looks extremely uncomfortable, so Kirishima hastens to change the subject.

"The others are worried about you," he says. "I think they wanna visit again. I hope they don't do something stupid." Bakugou snorts.

"You mean like disobeying direct orders and breaking into your friend's hospital room in the middle of the night because some crazy chick thought it was a good idea?" he asks drily. Kirishima blushes.

"Point taken– hey!" he jumps up, grinning.

"What?"

"You admitted we're friends!"

"What? No! No I fucking didn't!"

"Dude, you totally did!" Kirishima can't stop the enormous grin from covering his face and, even as his friend threatens to explodo-kill him, he can tell that Bakugou is grinning too.

Bakugou has, of course, admitted that Kirishima is his friend before. In fact, he's admitted that several people (Ashido, Kaminari, Uraraka, Sero, maybe even Jirou) are his friends, but the last time he'd seen Kirishima he'd almost killed him, and joking around like this makes it a little easier to talk to him. Still, ignoring what had happened wasn't going to do anybody any good.

"Kirishima," he says, and Kirishima takes one look at him and raises his arms in an X-shape in front of him.

"Dude, don't do this to yourself," he warns.

"You could have _died_ ," Bakugou snaps. "Shut up and let me talk, asshole. I almost killed you – we can't ignore that."

"Golem was there," Kirishima protests. "She–"

"Is not a god," Bakugou interrupts. "And you put too much faith in her. She isn't trustworthy. I owe her, and I _know_ her, but you don't. And," he adds, because it's best to just tell Kirishima now instead of dragging it out, "she didn't come back to help. She went to the villains to kill me, not save me." Kirishima stares at him.

"Dude, I'm sure she–" he begins, and is interrupted again.

"I absolutely intended to kill him," Golem says from the doorway. "I regret not doing it. Because I chose to keep him alive, he suffered. Because I chose to keep him alive, he became Nouki. But I made the choice I made, and I'm not going to back out now just because my actions had consequences."

"Well," Kirishima says, "murder is wrong, so…"

"It wouldn't have been murder," Bakugou's lips twitch into a mirthless smirk. "It would have been mercy. Not that I want to die now," he tacks on when he sees Kirishima's worried face, "but I did then. And she had the option of doing nothing and staying out of this mess, ending my life, or keeping me alive so they could do whatever they wanted. From a logical perspective, killing me was the best option."

"I should have killed you," Golem agrees. "All Might has been a negative influence, in that regard. Do you hate me?" she asks the question so casually that it takes Kirishima a moment to realize that it wasn't a trivial question.

"No," Bakugou says after thinking about it for a moment. "I don't hate you."

"Okay," Golem doesn't say anything else, and the lack of tone in her voice makes Kirishima wonder how she feels about that.

"Well, I'm glad she didn't," Kirishima tells him. "You're better company when you're alive." Bakugou snorts.

"You don't know that," he points out. "Maybe dead Bakugou is a fucking delight."

"Dead people generally aren't," Golem says absently. "Although I suppose the right corpse can bring a sense of joy."

"Is that a necrophilia joke?" Kirishima asks, wrinkling his nose.

"I don't know what that is," Golem tells him bluntly. "But it wasn't a joke. Some deaths are to be celebrated. Like Nazis." She says the word "Nazis" like it's the filthiest word she can think of, and for a moment Kirishima sees something in her eyes that tells him that it probably _is_.

"Okay," he says, deciding not to question it. "So. Why'd you change your mind?"

"Hm?" Golem looks over at him.

"Why didn't you kill him?" Kirishima clarifies.

"All Might," Golem says simply. She doesn't say anything more than that, so Kirishima assumes that's all she plans to say. Bakugou yawns, then, and Kirishima looks out the window to see the sun beginning to set.

"I'll be back tomorrow," he promises. Bakugou gives him a tired wave, and Golem nods in his direction. As he walks back to the dorms, he wonders how much longer Bakugou will be in the hospital. He'd better get out soon – class is starting in a couple weeks, and Bakugou's a year behind the rest of them. Not that Kirishima thinks he won't catch up by then, of course, but he worries that Yaoyorozu is right; that Bakugou will push himself too hard and end up making things worse.

The only thing he can do is make sure to be there for him, no matter what.

* * *

"Fight me," Bakugou says as soon as Golem walks in. He's out of bed, standing on his own two feet (well… sort of – his right leg is still something he avoids thinking about, and he knows he's putting more weight on his left than he should be).

"Okay," she says, and turns to walk back out again. "Eat breakfast, then come down to the gym area. We'll spar." A good authority figure, Bakugou knows, would not have agreed so easily – or at all. But Bakugou needs to do _something_ before he goes insane, and fighting is what Golem _knows_. In all likelihood, she's been feeling even more cooped up than he has. She won't fight him seriously, of course; that would be completely insane. She'll probably spend most of the time dodging, possibly blocking a blow or two, but he doubts she'll really throw any punches herself, much less use her Quirk (which would probably be against the gym rules anyway). It's annoying, but understandable, given the situation. He'll still give her hell for it, of course, because that's just how he is, but this isn't going to be a real fight. It's going to be Bakugou trying to get used to fighting as _Bakugou_ again; to moving like a person and not like a– a– a _thing_ , obeying every order given to him. She's going to lecture him too, he thinks with a mental groan, because he's refused to talk about his leg with any of the doctors, and he knows her well enough to know that she's damn well going to make sure he talks about it with _her_.

The problem with Golem is that Bakugou can't use the "you don't know me" excuse, or the "you don't know what I'm going through" excuse, because she _does_ know him, and she _does_ know what he's going through. She's been through it herself, only for her it had been longer and worse, and she'd never fully recovered and never would. For all of the scars the League had left on Bakugou's body and mind, he was still recognizable as a person. He did not feel obligated to hide his face so as to avoid giving people nightmares. He'd been forced to kill, but the amount of blood on his hands didn't come close to the amount on hers. And the things he'd done had been in no way willing; he'd either been coerced or it had happened while he had been Nouki. Golem had killed because she'd been forced to, yes, but there had also been times where she'd had the option not to, and she's done other things too. He'd been targeted because the villains had seen someone they thought could be one of them, because they'd seen his behavioral issues and the school's inability to handle them properly, and when he'd refused they'd decided to hurt him. She had been targeted because she'd been born, because terrible people had seen her and her people as vermin and had wanted them wiped off the planet, and she'd been unfortunate enough to give them a reason to think she'd be more valuable alive. They hadn't controlled her the way that the League had controlled him, because they hadn't had the things the League had had, but Bakugou had no way of knowing whether that made it better or worse.

He couldn't guilt-trip her, and that was what made her so effective, probably. She could empathize because she'd been there, but she wouldn't because she knew that it would accomplish nothing. In a way, he's grateful for that – she cares, but she won't let herself see him the way the doctors and his teachers and his classmates see him; as someone to be pitied and put back together. _There are some things that cannot be fixed_ , she had said once, _and trying to fix them is a waste of time. If a vase shatters into a thousand pieces, trying to glue it back together will give you a useless, leaky vase. If you throw the pieces away, you have nothing at all. Take the pieces and find something else to do with them. It won't ever be the same, and anyone who's seen it before will know what it once was, but it will exist as a solid_ something _, and it will not rot needlessly in a dumpster_. It had sounded like complete nonsense at the time, and she'd been talking to someone else anyway so maybe that was why, but now Bakugou was pretty sure it applied to this situation as well – to him, and to her.

* * *

He stretches after breakfast, refuses any help walking down to the gym – he's spent most of the last four-ish weeks in bed, though he'd spent one of them unconscious, but as soon as he'd been able to communicate properly, he'd set about annoying the nurses into at least letting him move around a little in order to keep him from completely losing the marbles he still had. The Kirishima incident had limited what they were willing to let him do, of course, but Golem had gotten his mobility rights back by stating that restraining him was actually more likely to cause Nouki to resurface again. He had no idea if that was true or if it was complete bullshit and she just felt bad about putting his friends in danger, but he wasn't going to push his luck.

Most of the equipment in the room has been moved to the side, and Golem is standing, shoeless, on a mat in the middle of the room. She's still wearing her hoodie and sweatpants, although Bakugou thinks that's more for his benefit (and the benefit of anyone else who happens to peek in on them) than for her own comfort. He takes off his own shoes and joins her.

"Did you stretch?" she asks, and he nods. "Good. Do more of that." Annoying, but not surprising. She watches closely. "Your leg too, Katsuki." He groans and rolls his eyes, but stretches the muscles in his right leg as well, scowling as he does. She doesn't stretch herself, which either means she already did so while she was waiting for him or her body is just one hundred percent ready to fight at all times. Both are equally possible.

"Let's go already," he grumbles, straightening up and rolling his shoulders one last time. She shrugs, not removing her hands from her pockets.

"Whenever you're ready," she says simply. "Don't use your Quirk."

"I _can't_ ," he snaps, gesturing to the sign that says "no Quirks without express permission". She looks at it, and then back at him. He gets the distinct impression that she's annoyed, and then remembers that it could be instructions on how to access America's nuclear launch codes and it would have the same amount of value to her as it does now. "It says–"

"I got it," she cuts him off, frowning. "It doesn't matter now. Did you want to fight or not?" He does, of course, want to fight, so he shuts up and lunges forward. As he'd expected, she doesn't bother taking her hands out of her pockets until after she spins out of the way of his first blow to block his follow-up kick. They fight – well, he fights and she dodges and blocks – in silence for a while until she finally rolls her eyes and says what he knew she was going to say. "Use your other leg."

"Fuck you," he replies promptly, before trying to use his other leg to kick her in the face. She grabs it, holding him there and glaring.

"You knew this was going to happen," she says evenly. "Stop wasting both our time." He tries to yank his leg free, to no avail.

"Like you have anything better to do," he retorts. "Let me _go_ , you fucking–"

"If you won't use your leg, fighting you is pointless." She interrupts, dropping his leg. "You challenged me because you wished to get back into shape to continue your training as a hero. You have two functional legs. You cannot be a hero without them." She sees him open his mouth, and continues before he can butt in. "Someone else can, of course. There are plenty of disabled heroes. Do not insult them by refusing to use a perfectly fine leg out of spite." Bakugou thinks of Todoroki, and his scowl deepens.

"'Perfectly fine' my ass," he sneers, and yanks up his pants leg. "Fucking _look_ at it." The leg is, upon first glance, perfectly fine. But up close there are parts of it that are the wrong skin color, as though someone had been coloring in random parts of a drawing and then completely run out of the color they'd been using and switched to a different color without bothering to try and make it look natural.

"You make a good point," Golem nods, and Bakugou realizes what she's going to do seconds before she does it. "I'd like to counter with _this_." And she lifts up her hood.

Her face is as horrifying to look at as it had been the first time he'd seen it. Scars covered her head, in various lengths and sizes, from many different sources. She was completely bald, which only served to make the scars stand out more. There are places where skin was clearly removed and not allowed to heal immediately. Bits and pieces of flesh just aren't _there_ anymore, leaving small dips and rises in her skin where there shouldn't be any. Her right ear is missing a piece of the pinna, and there's a hole on the upper part of her left cheek, where he can see part of her cheekbone if he squints. Her golden-brown eyes are sunken in (even the color is unnatural – they should be brown, but there's something that gives them a yellow-gold sheen, like a cat's, and he knows she was not born like that), and her cheeks are hollow. No part of her face is spared from the scars, and Bakugou looks away after only a second, feeling ill. After a moment, she drops her hood, and her face is mostly hidden away by shadows.

"It's different," he mumbles. "You can't just _not_ _use_ your freaking face."

"And _you_ ," she replies calmly. " _You_ cannot just 'not use' your leg. You can hide it, if you wish, but it is a part of you. It has scars and pieces that were not there when you were born. Everyone's bodies change over time, some more so than others. You must make do with what you have – this is the way of the world. Learn to live with it."

"I don't want to," he says, wincing at how whiny he sounds. She shrugs.

"I don't want to look like I took a swan-dive through a blender made of chainsaws straight into a pit of hydrochloric acid," she shoots back. "But I have to look like that, and I have _been_ looking like that for longer than you've been alive."

"Plastic surgery's an option," he points out, though he knows it's not. It might be, for him, but it isn't for her. Things like that require paperwork and documents and being places legally, and Golem has no paperwork and no documents and no record of her existence outside of her physical presence. And she certainly isn't in Japan legally, though Bakugou isn't sure if there's _anywhere_ she can be legally. He doesn't know how the law applies to people who legally don't exist, and she probably doesn't know either.

"I will ignore that," she says, because she knows he's aware of how ridiculous the suggestion is. "Use your leg this time." To his credit, he tries, but it feels _wrong_. It feels like it's someone else's leg, and he's just watching someone else trying to kick a woman who doesn't even have to dodge something so pathetic. He scowls at the leg, trying to ignore the heat building up behind his eyes. Golem, however, nods approvingly. "It's a start," is all she says.

 **AN: Ooof, this took longer to get out than I thought it would. To be fair, I did write several other things since then… Anyhow! This chapter's title translates to "one step forward is darkness". I've implied a few things about Bakugou's leg, but I don't think I'm going to go into detail about that in this story. It will be brought up in the next story, which will be a medium-length oneshot and will focus more on Golem's story. That one won't be a necessary read, since some people don't like OCs, and I'll probably be posting it right after I post this chapter, assuming I've done all the editing I need to do. It'll be called "Trucidatio", by the way. Let me know what you thought, and I'll see you next time! Kitty out.**


End file.
